Onward

I hate nights like this. It’s Thursday night. I haven’t written since Monday.

You’d think I have far too much work behind me to doubt my talent. You’d think I’ve put way too much time into this, to ever think it was a mistake.

You’d think. Even though I know damn well I was meant to be a writer, and I couldn’t stop if I tried–tonight I have to wonder. It’s been THREE DAYS since I wrote. Every night I sit down at my computer and I stare at it.

I open the file and I read. It’s all crap. I read it as fast as I can, trying to get to where I stopped, and I just want to delete it all. Fuggit. Forget it. It’s CRAP.

Yes, I know it’s not. I KNOW it. But I can’t believe that tonight. I don’t feel it.

It’s all crap.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll just go the hell to bed and feel sorry for myself.

Quoting from this site:

To cover most (but not all) of the roughly 45 million Americans without health insurance, Obama advances ideas that split the bill between individuals, government and business. His first step would be to require parents to insure their children. Then he proposes to expand eligibility for government programs for the poor and to offer subsidies to help other uninsured individuals buy coverage through a new, nationwide purchasing pool modeled on the insurance available to federal employees. Finally, Obama would require all but the smallest employers to provide insurance for workers or else pay about 60of their payroll to help government fund the cost of covering those employees.

Excuse me?  Require me to insure my daughter?  Does he somehow have the MONUMENTALLY STUPID idea that I wouldn’t do that on my own if I could?  It would cost me a FOURTH of my monthly income to put her on my insurance.  And he wants to make it the law that I HAVE to do it?

I pay for my daughter’s medical needs.  All of them.  And it costs me a lot less than insurance would.  Not that I wouldn’t LOVE to have affordable insurance available.

He can stuff his damned ‘help’ where the sun don’t shine.

Doesn’t that title sound naughty?

Interesting day today.  I got asked out.  Very flattering.  I said no, thank you, because he’s twice my age and, while his English is far better than my Spanish, it’s not enough for us to hold a real conversation.  Dinner, I think, would be excruciating.  (And did I mention he’s old enough to be my dad?)

But I did like being asked.

I’m not writing again.  I guess by pushing my muses over the weekend, I ticked them off.  I know what happens next, but not what happens after that.  And I can’t seem to get anywhere without that info.  Not to mention Bly was working on rearranging her books with the munchkin, and it was way too noisy in here to even think about writing.  (Beyond thinking how I hate when I don’t write for days, anyway.)

So I’m working on my wiki.  Wikis, in case you are even more of a novitiate than I am, are easy-to-build linked websites that are wonderful for remembering.  Such as…Wikipedia .

Therefore I am getting my wiki in order. Each character gets a page.  Each culture, each planet, each ship, each book, gets a page.  I am going to have ALL the facts just a few clicks away. (And have a legitimate excuse for not writing whenever I need one, it’s going to take a LOT of work to get my wiki that far.)

No, I won’t be sharing it.  Too many spoilers for the books.  You’ll just have to get your news here.   I do plan to tinker with ‘here’ a bit this summer, so it shouldn’t be too long a wait for some more content.

Quoting from this site:

A Saudi Arabian detainee died Wednesday at Guantanamo Bay prison and the U.S. military said he apparently committed suicide. Guards at the U.S. Naval Base in southeast Cuba found the detainee in his cell unresponsive and not breathing Wednesday afternoon, the U.S. military’s Southern Command said in a statement.

He only did it for attention.  Ignore him.

Isn’t that what that general said about the last three who succeeded?

Your Life Path Number is 22

Your purpose in life is to use your power for goodOf all the life paths, yours has the most innate power. Your power lies in your vision, and you must recruit others to help you in this vision. You are able to be a great idealist, but you still have the practicality to get things done. In love, you tend to be a big romantic - but you also tend to keep your distance. You have a lot of potential, and it’s sometimes hard to live up to. Sometimes you just feel like slipping into obscurity and doing nothing. You tend to be prone to dramatic emotions, until you step back and look at things honestly.

What Is Your Life Path Number?