When I was a stupid new kid on the internets, I formed a very bad habit: if I liked a picture, I saved a copy. Without attribution. And sometimes I’d go back and see a picture and think, “Oh, that would make a good icon!”

Yes. I was a bad web rookie. And though I’ve gotten better, I’m still not where I should be. So if you recognize someone’s work, please tell me. If I have your work, and you don’t mind, tell me so I can credit you. If you do mind, please tell me so I can take it down.

So–here they are. I think they’re pretty cool. ^__^

blog avatars

My fingers will type his name correctly, but keep trying to hand-write it as “Shukir.” Grr…

2117. I’ve finished the mind-map and questionnaire for Shukri, and written a bit of backstory for him. Working on Kez now, trying to find the edges of what I want.

2149. I’m giving up on Kez. He’s a liar, and I can’t nail him down. I kind of like it that way, so we’ll see what happens.

2229. Got derailed searching for my Tarot deck. Hush, of course I needed it! I use it for plotting.

2343. Oops. Why the hell am I still awake? Research is not a good excuse!

I am so looking forward to this book. These characters are amazing. At some point, though, I’m going to have to start working on plot.

But hey. If I have vibrant characters who want different things already set up on collision courses–well, then that plot thing is just about taken care of, y’know?

Cultures, cultures–can’t have characters without cultures. Gotta make four…

Tomorrow.

Then came RaceFail ’09. (Sadly it must be dated, because RaceFail happens fairly often.) I read a lot, tried to see others’ views, thought long and hard, and then I looked a little closer at my people–and found most of them oddly similar in appearance and culture.

Ugh.

One good thing about not being published yet–I can still change things. So I went poking about for people willing to change, and it’s been surprisingly easy. And no, that doesn’t mean just going in and changing references to hair color and such.

Take Ben, for instance. Dr. Ben Alexander is one of my oldest characters; I’ve known him for fifteen years. He had a different name then, one I don’t even think now because it was so hard to change it. I don’t want my recalcitrant brain changing things back on me.

Some things about Ben, though, have always been difficult to pin down. Normally when that happens, I go find someone to ‘play’ the character in my head. Rafe came to life when I pictured Orlando Bloom; Ryahled when Olivier Martinez was pointed out to me. But Ben–I’ve tried repeatedly to cast him, using everyone from Ralph Macchio to Sam Neil, and it’s never caught. Then one day I saw a young man and several of my muses went “HIM! That’s Ben!”

The young man is a native of Afghanistan, and the Ben in my brain is delighted to finally have an identity. Now when I think of him, I see him in traditional dress, bright colors among dark tuxes at a celebration…which only leads into the mess of “if it’s just him and his mom (she married into a white family), is he really going to follow her traditions? Did she dress him ‘oddly’ as a child? How did that affect him?” so we’re going to have to do some more thinking about that…

Anyway. The important thing for my art is that I’m not trying to force him into a different box, spreading some color around to be PC. It’s more like I’ve just found out who he really is. Rounding him out will add depth and richness to his story, which I’ve been struggling with for ages. (Don’t believe me? Click “Ben” down in the tags on this entry.)

Zeke, too (of Joss’ book), was willing to change. Hell, Zeke was eager. When I wrote him, I pictured him blond, and I tried to cast Owen Wilson to play him. I wanted that kinda cute, kinda goofy, able to be debonair…but it never worked very well. The main reason I wanted him blond was to separate him from Luc (in Keen’s book) who is of Italian ancestry, but shares a lot of traits with Zeke.

Then I poked at him a bit and suddenly Zeke is black. I’m a bit astonished. But the more I look at it, the more I like it. He’s grown a bit with it. The person I’m picturing now is a bit smarter than the old Zeke, a little more focused. Still an optimist, but less goofy. The old Zeke didn’t think much. This Zeke just takes a while to do it–not because he’s dumb, but because he looks at all the information. (and when he’s forced to move fast–hee! Not a Good Thing.)

I have a lot of decisions to make, though. In this universe, Earth is a Long Time Ago. Taro doesn’t know his ancestry and has never heard of Japan. Selene knows she’s Latina, but she doesn’t know what that means. Luc’s family has held on to a lot of their heritage, as has Ben’s mother, but I don’t think Zeke’s family has. To fit them into the planet where they live, most of that will have been forgotten.

Also, the universe tends towards entropy. Throw everyone in the pot together, and you lose a lot of what makes them unique. Not to mention it’s a couple thousand years on, Earth is little more than a myth to them, there’s a couple wars, one hell of a plague, alien contacts and of course the original diaspora between them and their heritage…

So. Lots of research, lots of decisions. Before I can decide what has been kept and what forgotten, I need to know what was there in the first place. And I kinda need to know a few things that may be difficult to research. What does an Afghani man’s hair feel like? I mean, it looks so smooth and shiny and mmm…

And Zeke. As a friend likes to point out with a laugh, Africa is a big continent. So he’s not just African, he’s…Zulu (no). Or…Nigerian. Or Somali. Or Egyptian? Ooh, that could be fun, but no. Hmm. Must look around. Also I’m thinking at least sometimes he has his hair up in some wonderful elegant cornrows. Is that the correct term, or recent slang? Google may tell me that, as well as if he’s not supposed to wash it when it’s in cornrows. But if not, how does he get his head clean? If he should straighten his hair sometimes (or is it called relaxing?), will it be greasy because it takes a lot of product to do that? Or is there some mystical process that I, as one who does not even own a hair dryer, can’t imagine?

People touch in my books. I need to know these things. Maybe I should just go find me a hottie or three to–help me with my research.

Must be thorough, no?

But Nikolai (aka Kolya) wanted some attention.

I still mostly suck at drawing.