For Future Reference

Warning for some serious pelvis action.  :lol:

Yes, this is my place to store things I don’t want to lose.

Also–I think it’s the mark of a great musician, when the less stuff they have available, the better they sound. I love that he can sing high so effortlessly–but it really curls my toes when he goes lower.

True Dat

We are overwhelmed by sexual images in commercials, art, and pornography, and you might think that the increasing number of images would indicate that we’re moving away from puritanism and towards more positive attitudes towards sex. But in reality, the great mass of those images in all three realms tell us one thing: ‘Sex feels good, but it’s not for you. You’re too fat, too skinny, too old, too poor, your tits or cock aren’t big enough, you don’t stay hard long enough. Sex is for the elite.’

From here.

To a Pathetic Excuse for a Man

What’s wrong, you coward? Too intimidated by a real woman to get it up? Or too much of an ass to even get an adult to look at you twice?

Well, guess what? Fifteen-year-old girls don’t want you either, you impotent jackass! She beat the shit out of you, didn’t she? And maybe you escaped her, but you won’t get away from TPD for long. We may joke about them, but they’re actually pretty good. Especially in cases like this, because they have daughters too, and we are all united against you. Nobody hesitates to “snitch” on a child-molester!

And then when you go to prison, guess what? Those guys inside? They’re a lot tougher than you. And you know what?

Some of them have daughters too.

Have a nice imprisonment. Can’t wait to see your ugly face behind bars.

Bike! Bike bike bike BIKE!!

ZOMG, how have I lived this long without a bike!

I love it. Her. Definitely a her, though I almost named her Edward.

This is not her, but it’s one of her sisters. My seat is white, handlebar grips are black, and my basket is different. But still. Admire the beauty!

So. The saga. For starters, the kid and I woke up sick this morning. Just stomachaches, but we both felt worse when we moved, so I called us both off and we went back to bed.

At nearly ten the kid reported a big–but “not big enough for a bike”–box on the back porch.

On our first glimpse of the lovely creature lurking in the box, the kid observed that the paint sparkled in the sunlight, and then she named it the Twilight bike. I pretended to throw a wrench at her. ;-) But the name “Edward” got in my head and wouldn’t get out.

Then began an intense period of negotiation. With tools. We took a lot of breaks because too much movement still upset our stomachs, so it took a good three or four hours (and a trip to the hardware store for an air pump) to get it together enough to even think it was ready to ride.

You noticed the “think” part, right?

The directions were awful. Small typo-filled print for at least three different models of bikes, and the tiny black and white pictures were no help at all, and some parts needing assembling were ignored completely…

So that’s why I put the handlebar on backwards, all right? I put the handlebar on backwards, which left the fork aimed backwards, and that put the fender really close to the frame, and when I turned my bike the pedal scratched the fender.

Also the seat went down with a jolt ’cause I didn’t tighten it enough.

But hey! I rode a bike for the first time in at least fifteen years and didn’t wreck! The kid rode her bike for the first time in two weeks and she did wreck!

So anyway. Left the kid in my dust, but figured out something was wrong, so we came back. I fixed the kid’s chain (which is why she wrecked; it was too loose) and then tried to figure out my issues. Tried putting the fender supports in different places. (Inside the fork, outside the fork, attached elsewhere, turn the fender what I swore was backwards but could be right…)

When it got dark I gave up and came in and pouted.

I went online to find a picture of my bike, and immediately spotted one important difference between the picture and the reality. Turned the front wheel around, loosened the stem bolt and turned the handlebar back forward–and then me and the kid went for a ride. In the dark.

It was glorious.

So. New addition to the family. Her name is Zephyra Glitter!Imp the Whim-cycle, and I love her very much. She has a coated-wire removable basket that has a handle, so I can go to the store (when I’m up to riding that far) and pick up a few things. I can put my netbook (did I mention I ordered a netbook? *looks shifty* ) in it and ride down to the library. There’s room there for a lunch, too, or our swimsuits and towels when the nearby pool is open again.

And just as soon as my helmet and lock arrive, I’m riding my beautiful baby to work.  ^__^

Danger, Will Robinson

Today I bought an extension cord to make my standing-on-ladders-with-power-tools a little easier. The child tried to grab the 50-foot one, but I pointed out that could probably go all the way around our house, and bought the 10-foot one.

I also bought a hook for my bike. And a plant hanger. And a few other things I could put up with the drill.

Remember Woody Woodpecker and his manic episodes? Yeah. This may not be pretty.

Aren’t you glad I never found a legitimate need to own a staple-gun?